The House Saga Continues

Well, I had an entire (very long) post written this morning, and of course the evil empire’s (Microsoft) software led to its demise. Let’s try again, shall we?

I closed on the house on February 25th, uneventfully, and got possession on March 1st. Unfortunately, the house’s locks were apparently designed by evil gnomes, and keys that should, by rights, work actually do not. So, after spending 15 minutes outside trying every lock in the place, and taking a self-guided tour of the grounds, I called my agent, who called the former owners’ agent, long story short, I have a new key.

And now for the good stuff: The remodel.

The office was…lovely. Mr. Former Owner apparently had delusions of grandeur…I mean was an aspiring musician. In that vein, he had put up yards & yards of grey acoustic foam (like the egg-crate mattress stuff) from floor to ceiling on the walls. It was affixed with some sort of heavy glue, which predictably pulled off paint and bits of the two layers of wallpaper underneath, the oldest of which dates back to the Cretaceous Period. The ceiling and walls were all painted black. Ick, unless you’re going for a vampire theme. 2 coats of Killz on the ceiling later, the room is showing promise. I’m planning on putting up white beadboard on the walls. (They’re too damaged to just paint, and would take days/weeks of steaming to get the wallpaper off.)

Master bedroom, well, let’s just say that maroon is *not* my color. Think of venous blood, or a really ripe bing cherry, and you have the idea. Maroon ceiling. Big maroon border 1/3 of the way down the wall. Oppressive, unless one is operating a bordello. More pulling down of wallpaper, 2 more coats of Killz. Then, a coat of periwinkle-ish lavender for the walls, white ceiling. Muuuuch better.

The kitchen and breakfast nook were…well, for you mothers in the audience, baby poop yellow. Charming, I’m sure. Countertops are a lovely hunter green (soon to be replaced with maple butcher block) and the cabinets were all a dark stained wood. Not nice wood, but formerly-painted wood which someone had stripped and stained. Ah, well, after a nice coat of primer and some off-white paint, they’re looking lovely. All that’s left is to paint the doors and drawers, and put the hardware back on. The kitchen walls have been transformed from baby-poop mustard to cornflower blue, with a slightly lighter blue in the breakfast nook. H’s pretty much done swearing at me for the stucco finish that the FO’s left on the walls, necessitating multiple coats of blue to cover the nasty yellow. I’m sure she’ll get over it, especially if I ply her with alcohol. Now if only the contractors would call about the countertops!!

The living and dining rooms were painted a dark sandy brown, which is OK, I suppose, but made the house very dark. It’s a bungalow, for pete’s sake – let’s have some *daylight* here, people! The FO’s unfortunately also applied sand to the living room walls as a faux finish thing, but that’s too difficult to change, so I’m living with it. New color – Oat, which is apparently Alexander Julian-speak for cream with a bit of pink. This I can buy. I can handle “Quartz” for the cream/white kitchen cabinets. Heck, even “Dolphin” for cornflower blue makes sense. But “Maroon Bells” for the lavender bedroom? And “Picnic” for the lighter blue of the breakfast nook? Bizarre. Clearly I’d wash right out of paint-color-naming school, due to excessive snark and insubordination.

After all this do-it-yourselfer-ness, I’ve had a full weekend plus a few days. My rotator cuff is suing me for damages, and my right hand may never be the same. 🙂 Fortunately, there’s not a ton left to do, so that’s good! Off to bed with 1000 mg of ibuprofen and to rest up for a day filled with touchups tomorrow. Oh yeah, and I should probably pack one of these days. 🙂

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